Laying the ghosts to rest

*imiates The Rock(youtube to watch his videos)
"Finally........finally.......FINALLLLLYYYYY,THE TROPHY WILL COME BACK TO GEORGIE!!"

ROFL

Another short one today

Awards night will be held next thursday.Sad to say that I didn't win any prize.Nope,not even Aussie competitions(because I didn't join them.HOWEVER,I'm planning to make one last comeback.I wonder how did such a school like this ended up with so few high distinctions(ARGH,need more work on spelling...)....

A friend of mine,Phil,who's somewhat a cybergeek(yes people,cybergeek...doesn't mean I'm trying to be a hacker though.That would be cool XD)couldn't tolerate trash talk from some other student in study hall(we had a relief period.Teachers here are so OMG) that when period was over,he waited outside.As I passed by,I was like:"Don't do anything radical,Phil" "No,I won't" he replied.Oh well,I wasn't surprised when a fight broke out soon enough.I'd take Phil's side on this one,and another classmate,Mitch was kinda standing up form him.Well,whaddaya know,Fight Club 2...

I'm slightly in a better mood today because one of the students(or should I say retard...)that has been bugging me has been EXPELLED(shocking...)from the colledge.Reason:tripping a teacher.Oh well,I feel a little sorry,but I think that he derserves it since he's had a long history of mischiefs(and yes,he p*sses off teachers in class)

If you want to know about tennis,then the first line says it all.We're still undefeated,will go into tomorrow's match undefeated and a win guarantees the FIRST EVER UNDEFEATED TEAM IN NUDGEE'S HISTORY.Yep,histpry's the word.It's been quite a season,I bet no one saw the right hook coming...But oh well,I just hope that Brisbane State High(our opponents) have good players and would be willing to give us a run for our money(as long as they didn't take it...).The whole year has been plain boring,we rolled over most teams(Five clean sweeps,one 7-1 and one 6-2)so yeahh.Thinking of ending the 16A season in style,with an ace XD.

No books for now,assignments are trying to pin me down...As for music,I've just recently downloaded 2 songs.One of them is "Running Back" by Jessica Mauboy feat Flo Rida.as for the other one,here's the story:

2 weeks ago,we were watching MTV Billboard countdown during the last class of the week at that time No.6 was "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift,No.5 I forgot...No.4"Paparazzi"(ugh) by Lady Gaga,No.3 "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas.

And when No.2 came out,it was "Run This Town" by Jay-Z feat Rihanna and "Krazy"(XD) Kanye West.And so I was like:"Yessss,No.1 has gotta be "Good Girls Go Bad" :D.So getting hyped,Did I get it right?Nope....

When the songs came on,half the class left....XD

Well,that artist was Miley Cyrus with the song "Party In The USA"

Okay people,CURE ME XD

Breaktime

Short post(REALLY)

-Bio inprgoress
-Clueless in chem(and eng)
-Pumped for saturday(we're gonna win the GPS 11A championship:D
-Beat my partner today(woohoo!!)
-Teachers on strike so today was a holiday

Ciao

Whirlwind

Short(maybe long) post..

Had a "spat" with James on Tuesday,plainly because something snapped.Regardless of who started it(due to my resentment,I gave him quick tactics in doubles in which he responded that I wasn't talking to him in tennis practice....),I've decided to avoid as much conflicts as possible(can't be helped when you have someone doing techno beats with the mouth which may seem awesome but gets really annoying...).

Well,I apologise for not being in detail today,it's just that I'm getting moody again.....Angry,depressed,sad and felt a bit high whenever I hang out with my usual groups in class(except Maths B, where I'm sitting just a seat away from you-know-who...).Music's the same thing.When I feel a little dark,I tend to hear the sad melodies.If I'm cheerful,then the dance songs often come to mind.But once in a while I still feel confused,and would listen to anything.....Oh,and dad left this morning..

I guess I'm still the same person as I am,or probably a shadow of my own self.Attempts to right the wrongs are futile.I tried to correct my bad habits(getting more forgetful...) and just ended up having more degrading comments thrown at me (mostly from mom).Oh well,I guess this is my life,and I'll have to live with it...

Urgh,I'm so messed up....like totally.I don't know what to do.It's not me to blend in and act like everything's normal.I don't get why I could have 2 different personalities.I feel so emo......There I go,spacing out again....

Anyways,assignments are ripping me up right now...There's bio which I'm testing for transpiration rates of different plants(ad I have to do it everyday for 2 weeks...),as well as English(Need to write a feature article so look out for me in Borneo Bulletin!!lolz I think I'll go for generation gap issues since I tend to be against the principles of the Generation Xers...) and Chemistry(Just tested anions and cations yesterday,wonder if they have something interesting because it involves testing on water and NOT testing for the elements....By the way,Water is our project,trying to find best way to desalinate it....How lame.....).

Oh well,so much more to say...I'll return with a post on Saturday,and I shall promise you that,even if it isn't my duty....Oh man,spaced out again...

P.S I heard you guys have 'O' levels right now.Just wanna say all the best to all of you,especially you......Somehow,now that I'm kinda low,I wanna look at your face in the picture again.......Great,THAT'S THE 3RD TIME I SPACED OUT!!ARGH!!

I walk the lonely road

It's a matter of life and death.

Here I am,sitting in front of the computer and probably the last time I will ever post before I make my decision:To chase the dream or to stop and stare.

I have to admit,losing's never a nice thing.It's hard to let go when you knew you had it,and spectators don't help.Even if you're some successful athlete done with your career and commentating on the sport that you used to do,it still doesn't help.I mean,we have our own expectations,and when we couldn't meet it,there will be others telling you what went wrong when you're already beating yourself up.Ok,you're done beating yourself up,but the degrading continues.You're not capable of handling any more beatings,and so you prefer to lock yourself up in your room in the dark,reaching the state of thinking:"This is it......No more......What's next...."

That's how I felt today,Saturday,October 17th 2009.The day almost nothing went right..

I'm not gonna explain it in details because I've got to go to bed soon or I'll be having a 12 barrel shotgun pointed to my head(overexaggerating...).Simple:Dad's back today,my tennis was awful,and when it got better,it was against wayy better players.I lost top my partner for the 1st time today,and I was baked....

There has to be an end to winning and I'm not used to losing this badly(like,4 matches in a row?(O.O) But I look back at it and just tried to shrug it off as a really bad day in the courts,but on my way home,it was wayy worse than that.I was lumbering like a tortoise all the way,and when I got back.CRASSSHHHHH!!Nap time.....

I woke up 2 hours later to find dad shaking me.How nice =.= and if I'm not wrong,he slept for the whole afternoon.....And after that,things were normal,except for no reason whatsoever his face turned dark and began barking.Wow,those cigarettes really have an effect....

I'm still pretty fragile for now,but what I want you all to know is that I'm not really in the mood to do anything that cheers me up.I mean,dad thinks I'm picking the wrong friends(he keeps on thinking that I hang out with James,a Korean who's logic is worse than a 4 year old and isn't good enough to fool me with his acting and just keeps on asking absolutely silly questions[I mean,I'm considered "dumb and stupid" by mum(wait till she has him as the kid.She think's he's nice and NO HE AIN'T) but James takes 1st place in idiocracy wayy ahead of anyone].

It's really sickening to hear parents saying that they're know-it-alls(they can be true,but often they're misfiring and they think they aren't) and some tend to have that "Not me,all you" mentality (which can be correct depending on the situation.And then there's some that snap and blow up when mistakes are made(again,depending on the situation,it could be right or wrong).However,what I was surprised is that some will get frustrated at their kid's continuous persistency to ask or repeat when they themselves do the same thing and when we offsprings gave up on it,they'll pounce and point their fingers at you because they think it's your fault.

Well,the post isn't supposed to end like this,but unfortunately I have to go

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f*cked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

Into the storm

Another week of Mapling,and what do you know?School's beginning to wreck me again....

Saturday's tennis was,in my opinion,A DISGRACE!!True,our 11A's team(I'm in it) still remained undefeated overall,but I lost in my doubles,and IT WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT DAY!!ARGH....7-1 overall score,but I feel I kind of let the team down a little bit.How?I was neutralised with their doubles pair(No.1 pair vs No.2(me and partner) pair)and their No.1 player was clubbing every ball he had.Normally,that's our thing to do,but they got there 1st...*sigh*...Lost 5-7...What's even more pathetic was that he played SOOOOOO bad in his next 2 matches it kind of got me mad(I mean,he was open-standard in our match and a 10-year old the next...).No such problems for me or my peers,we went on rolling.

Year statistics:6-0(still only undefeated team in GPS Year 11 and THE ONLY undefeated team in Nudgee and MIGHT BE the first ever undefeated team to win grade premiership.Hope nothing stops us now....)
W-L overall=45-3
My W-L=16-2(Doubles=10-2 Singles 6-0)


As for the open team,no comment.....just mumbles in assembly by the Activity Director about them being "pipped"...Yeah,sure....When there's win there's trumpets,when there's a loss there's just murmurs......

Did you know the Backstreet Boys have a new album?It's titled "This Is Us" and yes,they're continuing with 4 members(Umm,A.J,Nick Carter....ARGH!!!Forgot the other 2....).I'm not sure whether I should listen to it or not,but expect some soulful crooning :D.Also,there's reports of MJ's song "This Is It" being plagarised.Oh my.......Taylor Swift's coming to Aus for concert next year Feb 5....Other artists:B.E.P and Green Day somewhere in December...

What am I reading?Not much,library doesn't interest me anymore.D-oh...

Once more,Chinese is becoming a pain,Tuesday,then Thursday,then Friday,then Thurs,and NOW FRIDAY!!ARGH!!MAKE UP YOUR FRIGGIN MIND!!!Well,partly my fault for scheduling clashes,but what about Mondays or Wednesdays?

Now before I go,I have 2 stories: One from my SF teacher and about english class..

SF moral:Aussie teens are ERGH!!!

He gave us a news clip which shows how bad parties can get here.It's not just the violence,but the sheer numbers.I mean,only a select few were invited,then how did it end up with hundreds attending the party??!!ERGH and schoolies,OMG so horrible......
He told a story about being the head of a boarding house and there was a party at the other side of the road which 6 of the boarders wanted to go.Teacher wants them to be back before 11pm....Sent them on their way,and went around to check at around 9.30pm.Hundreds of people at the party.1 hour later,even more that were uninvited.And soon enough,chaos broke loose.

And boy oh boy,did he really mean chaos.When he got the boarders out of the party(which they desperately wanted to),he went around the school grounds and found a whole lot of kids(or should I say teen couples?) doing *AHEM* here and there....And by morning,he found quite an amount of knickers,shorts and used c*ndoms lying around the grounds......Filthy.......

English:No,nothing perv,teacher gave us 3 articles to read,2 of them in particular I'm interested in.

Articles 1:The story of a suicide bomber and how he feels.
All I can say is this:Guy is so happy because he was accepted for a suicide mission which he has been applying for months.He's happy being a terrorist because in a certain book it says to strike terror into the enemies.And he even prays to you-know-who that he kills as many enemies as he can and hope not to hurt the innocent.

Now,is there anything wrong with that?Yes,yes,being the "insightful" person we are,we would say that this guy's insane,stupid,idiot,etc,etc.I agree,but nothing could be done to help him.I mean,it's what he wants.He thinks we're brainwashed and vice versa....Seriously,it's his own life,let him be(doesn't mean I'm supporting him,period.I don't think that it's right or wrong because it's not my decision to make).

Article 2:31 year old man married 70 year old grandmother

First reaction:SHOCKING!!Then I realised:If Hugh Hefner is married to Playboy models,why not vice versa?It's pretty mysterious why people react so negatively to men marrying older women....Ah well,love can't keep age apart,no?The pathetic thing is,other people in class were either disgusted or making a total fool of themselves.By disgusted,I mean that after they've read it,they go:"Ewww,that's so wrong" and by making a total fool of themselves, I mean that being the total man wh*res they are,they just imagined *AHEM* in this topic......

You know,sometimes I wonder if I'm actually one of the only few sane people here.The rest are either wannabe socialites,playboys,rich brats or sports freaks.I'm beginning to appreciate nerds now,being the hardworking students they are.Of course,I have some "rivalries" of my own (biology,maths B mainly) and I would say it's fun to have it because you can push each other to get better marks...

P.S.Maths B is SOOOOOO BORING(because I get the point and I finish without homeworks),BUT now that I'm learning a new topic(which you guys have learnt around 6 months ago),I feel a little more energetic.

But still,I lack the smile...

I think I'm starting to lose/my sense of humour
Everyday/so tense and gloomy
I could almost feel like I gotta check the temperature of the room/
Just as soon/as I walk in,it's like all eyes on me
And I try to avoid any eye contact,
Because if I do that,the it opens the door for conversation
Like I want that
I'm not looking for extra attention,I just wanna be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room.

Georgie

Missing:A Soul

Today's post is,in my opinion,gonna be slightly different from the rest.Nothing but school life....and it's horrors...

Monday,11pm,bed
I kind of had a little insomnia at that time,and someone a bolt struck me,hard.I realised that I was empty,devoid to feelings like love or sorrow(well,not sorrow...).I feel like a shell without its turtle....existing for no purpose known.

It shook me up,and I just lost everything.Energy,life,they were missing from me,and I did what I know I shouldn't have done:weep.

Yes,I know,I'm not supposed to cry about this(neither will.i.am,taboo or apl.de.ap sang "Big Boys Don't Cry",did they?)but I knew I have lost my emotions(don't ask why I felt really down about it) and love.I hate to admit this,but I felt nothing,no love for anyone(ANYONE).It's not intentional,it was simply there......

Like any desperate idiot,I attempted to regain that joyous feeling once more,and so I picked up a picture and stared hard and long at it.Failure greeted me,when I didn't want it to.I have lost something I wanted to cherish.

Now that my heart feels empty,I was lifeless,yet I ponder what will ever happen to me.....


Tuesday,reopening.

I was a zombie,a computer,programmed to perform daily routines without changes.The people all around me seemed either enthusisatic or moody.I was obviously out of place,yet I managed to get through the detectors without any problems...

Recess,library.
As usual,Abhi(friend) found me in the library,"scanning" a mag Nope,not Cleo,Cosmopolitan,Vogue or whatever you know....It's Top Gear,and with him,is his buddy who's somewhat at the opposite pole in terms of attitude.By that I mean.......

When Abhi left to attend to something,his buddy and I had a convo,a weird one....

(Him)"Would you have s*x just to get paid a million dollars?"
(Me)"No"
(Him)"10 million?"
(M):"No"
(H)"But what if the person's the hottest girl you've ever seen?"
(M)"No"
(H):"100 million?"
(M)"No"
(H)"1000 million?"
(M)[Thinks:Tempting,but I'm not that stupid...]"No"
(H)"That's like one billion,man.."
(M)"Exactly..."
(H)"10 billion?"
(M)"No"
(H)"100 billion?"
(M)"No"
(H)[Finally cracked]so you're like gonna be some kind of saint or something?
(M)"No"

You see people,you may call me a fool as the numbers get higher,but money doesn't faze me.Furthermore,I'd be considered a male wh*re that way.But that's not all.I'm not even interested in any girl no matter how "hot" she is,period.The one word that I was looking for is "love",and he didn't say that.BUT,even if he said that it was the girl I love,IT'S STILL NO(Figure why :D).

I went on,lifeless....

Today,Wednesday...
Still lifeless..but I could feel that there's a wall between the "me" now and the "true" me.....

Hole in my heart,
George

Hide Behind The Tears

Okay,school's resuming tomorrow,life's gonna be back to normal.No "three week boredom and do nothing except Mapling and forgot about everything else",it's back to reality,and I think I've lost some feelings which I didn't really want to(good thing and a bad thing...)

Oh,GO AHEAD AND SING!!!Lemme provide you with the lyrics...

You've lost the looooovin feeeeeeeling....
Woooooh that looooving feeeeling...
You've lost that LOOOOVIN FEEEELING
And now,it's GONE,Gone,gone
Woahohohoh......(Ba-dum,ba-dum,ba-dum dum dum....)

LOLZ

Not really funny,ain't it?Well,I just don't know,but I felt I lost something......Ahhh yesss,I remember....MY WILSON TENNIS RACKET BAG!!Yep,it was wrecked.Already in a near rundown state,dad forced one of the three main zips to open and RIPPED it went.Long service award(4 years).But wilson bags don't match with Head rackets,do they?So then,because of my recent tournament performances,I've got a Head one,and IT'S FRIGGIN HUGE!!(Like,1.5 metres?I don't know,it went below my knees,which makes walking a LOT EASIER,not.......)

In books,I've just found out that VA book 4 topped the bestsellers list in fiction ahead of Twilight.My reaction:"YES!!TAKE THAT STEPHANIE MEYERS!!!" Finally,my favourite series at the top :D I didn't read the book till today at 2am (yes,true,and I finished it at 530 am when the sun was up and so I woke up at 1pm O.O)Here's the review

VA:Blood Promise (4.5/5 stars)

Summary:Rose goes off to Russia to find her former mentor and lover Dimitri Belikov and free him from the evil he had become(He had turned Strigoi,which means that he's neither living nor dead).Being away from the Academy,she meets new friends,encounters a strange "stalker" as well as confronting the man she used to love(and still does)

Verdict:To be honest,I don't hate Russia now that I've read this book (Thanks Richelle!!).I don't mean politics.The names sounds interesting[Women need to have an "a" added in the end.E.g Maria Sharapova while men don't such as Nikolay Davydenko(In his case,the women in his family would have a "va" added.Fitting :D)] and apparently I've picked up some Russian words( "buria" is not a funeral,it means "storm")("Strigoi" is actually a Romanian word for vampires).

Okay,I'm wondering if the same could be said for North Korea and Iran lol maybe Richelle can change my view too XD.I wonder how's the last book of VA gonna be like(5th one "Spirit Bound).Don't want to give you any spoilers hehe....

Now,I've realised how true animes can be sometimes...I mean,I just watched Skip Beat!And it's about showbiz and stuff.Sometimes the past was sacrificed in order to be stars,as shown in this anime,and I kind of think that it's somehow sadd(Oh,ain't I the emo one? XD).Yes there's the usual romance plot and lame gags(Chui Gann and Ah Tay,WATCH OUT!!By that I meant my watch battery's gone.....O.O") but I can't help it...I'm an ADDICT!!Okay,someone get me into rehab but I said "NO,no,NO!!"

Apologies for this incomplete post but I'm not feeling well these few days.I'll try to recover and write as much as I can.See ya!!

Georgie
P.S. Find a line from Amy Winehouse' song.I'm sure you can spot it *winks*

To say that I'm on Cloud Nine is AN UNDERSTATEMENT

Ok,don't ask,but it's one of those super-duper-ultra-rare days that I'm so friggin happy I seriously could not bother to think of all the bad things AT ALL!!

Err if you're wondering why,you could talk to me over the MSN for the whole story(provided that I'm NOT Mapling) but I'll just give you a short summary and NOTHING MORE!!(YAYY!!)

Reason:An e-mail which I did not read until today(*sigh* what a fool I am) and opened it and read it and I "died" XD.By "died" I mean never been so happy in my entire 15 years and 7 months that my heart feels so light (and probably pounded open my chest and flew somewhere XD minus the blood,duh).In other words,my tormented soul could "rest in peace" and hopefully will recover from the deep scars :D

Ta-dahh!!!I'M REBORN!!!!Wait,I still have the same body,same hair(will get haircut tomorrow) and same looks,Dang.....

You drove me wild :D
Georgiee