T'is no longer a season for me to be jolly....

Actually, I have lots of things to say right now, but I'll just vent out the TNT that I currently have in my system.

 Mostly, it's about dad.If his money talk wasn't enough,he repeats the same story over again.Talks about how much earned and spent,jobs at Mac(and I thought he got smarter,.....),talks with his friends over the phone and mostly included me as a "waste of money" and last but not least, gave me 3 months in tennis.WTF(There,I used it.Just felt I had to..),2 years,1 year and now 3 months,you certainly have your mind rewired every time.He had an argument with mum which annoyed me in bed..And called me out past midnight just to give me some "emomoneytalk" about his life.Blah,so much stress was in my system I couldn't be bothered to shed a tear like I used to.It no longer works on me, and that same thing happened in watching the movie(just posted the review).enjoyed it,but didn't divert me from my main goal.

Yes, and today he's getting a car so he could bring me out to court.And 2 days ago he actually said he wanted to play against me.He continued on,boasting about how his dad booted him out of the table tennis team(Gramps was a state coach) and he came back and "killed" every one of gramp's students.Honestly, I don't really care if I were gramps,dad, but you getting kicked out tells me something.And if you even dare to step on the court with me on the other end, I might not guarantee your safety.

Your use of the word "kill" is more of a sign that you're one sick man. I don't like that word. And that's why if you really are gonna play against me today, I'm more than happy enough to bust your knees (he's had surgery there..) and make you play until you have found the right answer to my question: "What makes a sportsman continue to play?". Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if most of you, like "dad" would reply that the desire to win is the one. However, I have my own opinion. I mean, why does someone of no ranking or a pro who's in the 1000's continue to play, even if there's not much prizemoney or they can't get past the first round in some big tournaments?Surely it can't be winning that keeps em going,because they don't win much.And if they don't win much, then the desire to win is sapped out of them, and there wouldn't be any point in playing.

I reckon it has something to do with love for the game. One musn't think of winning. He/she should be glad that they've got to where they are and no matter what happens, avoid the temptation of wins in favour of the love for the game.

But it's hard to change someone. While I stand by this principle,mum and dad are trying to force me their own because that's what they think I should be focused on :winning. Two words: ****you (not sure if it's the "f" word...). They're expecting wins,wins and more wins,and now have lost sight of how I come to play this sport.Yes, they might be true, but the roots shouldn't be cut or the plant will die..

There's actually more...Dad pressing me to get a scholarship(my grades are solid, but I know I can do it.This country on the other hand.....Gah,you know,skin tones.....),but I'm done for now.Apologies for not saying anything to you guys this season, but I'll try to send something to everyone (via e-mail..).For now, I'm h*ll-bent on getting dad straight,or I'll just bust his knees and not let him drive the car until he find the answer.if he doesn't,he's probably not gonna see me much longer..