Lose yourself

Mr.PokeNose has just ruined it again...By that I mean my mood,my schedule and my post (believe me,I had to close without saving this post for like almost 10 times now because everytime he walks near my "HQ",he can't resist moving his eyes to take a peek.IT IS FINAL.I WILL THROW ONE PACKET OF HIS CIGARETTES INTO THE BIN.Honestly,I'm not in the mood to get ahold of my senses,so I'm really gonna do it.Out go the morals,in come the instincts..

And how did I get into this rage?Not steroids,mind you...But chinese class.Once more,it has resumed the "roulette" method of picking when it should happen,and this week it's tomorrow,which so happens to be clashing with my tennis lessons again....C'mon,give all of us a break.You've switched dates like what?15 times?THAT'S PATHETIC!!Look,mum told me to put subjects first,and I don't like to do so,but I obliged and LOOK WHAT I GET.My schedule IS SO MESSED UP RIGHT NOW.Seriously,don't try to abuse power of being a teacher and set class dates whenever you like.The teacher's strike going on now is annoying me a lot,and for you to add extra burden to my severely limited patience makes me blow up pretty easily?

And guess what?In comes PokeNose...I got back and here's the scenario(in my room)

"Where's your name on the booklet?"
"what booklet?"
*points to awards night booklet
"Oh that,you don't need to have a name,it's just a program?
"Come one,do you best in what you are doing.Why isn't your name there?why didn't you get any awards?Even tennis?"
*walks out of the room
As I closed the door to have some privacy,it slapped me hard:HE ACTUALLY EXPECTS ME TO HAVE ONE

here's a salvo for you: YOU'RE AN OBSESSIVE FREAK WHO CARES OF NOTHING BUT ACCOLADES AND MONEY.FURTHERMORE,YOU CAN'T RESIST INVADING MY PRIVACY WHENEVER YOU WANT.YOU'RE MORE LIKE A STALKER.IF I WERE A GIRL,IMAGINE WHAT YOU MAY HAVE DONE.YOU'RE JUST SOME IDIOT WHO CRAVES FOR UNNECESSARY THINGS IN LIFE.IF YOU CAN ASK ME THOSE STUPID QUESTIONS,THEN LET ME ASK YOU THESE:"WHERE'S YOURS?WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING HERE?WHY WOULD YOU DRAG ME ALL THE WAY HERE TO THIS SAVAGE ISLAND ALONG WITH YOU JUST FOR TO MAKE SOME MONEY FOR YOURSELF AND GIVE ME SOME CRAPPY TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT'S REALLY NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL.TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,YOU'RE A FAILURE WHEN IT COMES TO PARENTHOOD,AND WITH THAT YOU DRAGGED ME INTO BECOMING A FAILURE LIKE YOU,YOU WASHED UP LOST GENERATION AKA GENERATION X,WHO ACTUALLY SOMKES AND DRINKS FOR THE SAKE OF IT.YOU KNEW THE EFFECTS,YET YOU DIDN'T BOTHER.IF SOMETHING WRONG HAPPENS AS A RESULT OF YOUR HABITS,I WILL NOT SHOW MUCH SYMPATHY.

Sheesh,big deal.I mean,I want to get an academic award,and it would be nice to have one being in my 1st year.But puh-leeze,there's other things to that.If you're thiking of me getting a scholarship,I still have a year to go.In that year anything could happen,but at this rate you're gonna be the biggest obstacle in my path.Just to let you know I'm actually within reach of Geography's No.1 spot(I should be No.2 by now having topped the other no.2 student in this semester) as well as top 3 in bio(Only 3 have A's).I can do it,but these guys work just as hard as I do and they probably are more natural than me.C'mon,I don't see you having much accolades yourself.And what an irony.A few years back,you were encouraging me to take an ECA.And for the last year or two,you were whining around about not going for scouting or tennis.GET YOUR MIND RIGHT,RETARD.I HAVE MY OWN AGENDA,AND IF IT'S DIFFERENT FROM YOURS,THE SO BE IT.YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SUPPORTIVE EVEN IF YOU'RE HARSH,YET YOU'RE CONTRADICTING ON WHAT I DO AND SCHEMED TO GET ME TO YOUR EXPERTISE.DREAM ON,BAKA!!THIS IS PART OF MY LIFE.YOU EITHER SERVE AS AN INFLUENCE OR A HINDRANCE.YOU DON'T HAVE A REMOTE CONTROL ON ME.

I feel a little better now.......

About 30 mins ago,he told me if I was busy...*Note that my mood is still seriously bad

"Yeah"
"Open the NAB website"
"I said I was busy"
"Just for 5 minutes"

And then he instructed me this that,log in,username and password.when it came to the password,I fumbled a little and after the whole thing was done....

"Took you 3 times to get it right...See?People talk,you don't listen.."

ARGH,SCREW YOU.HAVE YOU GOT EVERYTHING RIGHT THE 1ST TIME??!!YOU'RE SERIOUSLY ONE OF A KIND.

Right now I wish I had never been born(honest),or mum actually giving birth to my sibling instead of me.Who knows what could happen?Maybe he/she would have a like different life I have,maybe the same.Maybe we could have looked out for each other,and protect each other.Unfortunately,I walk alone,no one backing me up.I guess life s*cks after all,you can't have what you wanted.I wonder if this is all worth fighting for,if this is all dying for....

I've only got one shot,it's my chance to blow.This opportunity comes once in a lifetime..
George