Missing:A Soul

Today's post is,in my opinion,gonna be slightly different from the rest.Nothing but school life....and it's horrors...

Monday,11pm,bed
I kind of had a little insomnia at that time,and someone a bolt struck me,hard.I realised that I was empty,devoid to feelings like love or sorrow(well,not sorrow...).I feel like a shell without its turtle....existing for no purpose known.

It shook me up,and I just lost everything.Energy,life,they were missing from me,and I did what I know I shouldn't have done:weep.

Yes,I know,I'm not supposed to cry about this(neither will.i.am,taboo or apl.de.ap sang "Big Boys Don't Cry",did they?)but I knew I have lost my emotions(don't ask why I felt really down about it) and love.I hate to admit this,but I felt nothing,no love for anyone(ANYONE).It's not intentional,it was simply there......

Like any desperate idiot,I attempted to regain that joyous feeling once more,and so I picked up a picture and stared hard and long at it.Failure greeted me,when I didn't want it to.I have lost something I wanted to cherish.

Now that my heart feels empty,I was lifeless,yet I ponder what will ever happen to me.....


Tuesday,reopening.

I was a zombie,a computer,programmed to perform daily routines without changes.The people all around me seemed either enthusisatic or moody.I was obviously out of place,yet I managed to get through the detectors without any problems...

Recess,library.
As usual,Abhi(friend) found me in the library,"scanning" a mag Nope,not Cleo,Cosmopolitan,Vogue or whatever you know....It's Top Gear,and with him,is his buddy who's somewhat at the opposite pole in terms of attitude.By that I mean.......

When Abhi left to attend to something,his buddy and I had a convo,a weird one....

(Him)"Would you have s*x just to get paid a million dollars?"
(Me)"No"
(Him)"10 million?"
(M):"No"
(H)"But what if the person's the hottest girl you've ever seen?"
(M)"No"
(H):"100 million?"
(M)"No"
(H)"1000 million?"
(M)[Thinks:Tempting,but I'm not that stupid...]"No"
(H)"That's like one billion,man.."
(M)"Exactly..."
(H)"10 billion?"
(M)"No"
(H)"100 billion?"
(M)"No"
(H)[Finally cracked]so you're like gonna be some kind of saint or something?
(M)"No"

You see people,you may call me a fool as the numbers get higher,but money doesn't faze me.Furthermore,I'd be considered a male wh*re that way.But that's not all.I'm not even interested in any girl no matter how "hot" she is,period.The one word that I was looking for is "love",and he didn't say that.BUT,even if he said that it was the girl I love,IT'S STILL NO(Figure why :D).

I went on,lifeless....

Today,Wednesday...
Still lifeless..but I could feel that there's a wall between the "me" now and the "true" me.....

Hole in my heart,
George